Some days I can pray all day and never run out of things to say. Then on days like today, I try to pray but don't have any idea what to say. I don't know if it is because the words won't come to me or because I have so many thoughts running through my head that I can't make sense of anything. One part of me would like to have a crystal ball to find out where I will be 2 months down the road. Another part of me wants to be still in this moment as I feel and see God working in my life. Every day seems like a struggle to continue down this road. Every day I have to deal with the images of dad and mom, the memories, and the heartache. It simply isn't fair. It is a part of my life. It is part of what makes me who I am today. If I could have my father back I would do it in an instant. But God has also sent blessings in my life as a result of my circumstances after dad's death. So what do I pray when the pain seems unbearable? What do I pray when I just want some relief? I believe "the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us in accordance with God's will." I don't pray for my will but for God's will. I want the pain to go away but God has brought many blessings from my pain. I don't think God wants me to hurt but I pray that His healing of my pain will be used to further His kingdom and lead others to a place of forgiveness and peace.
Tags: Gaile Owens
"Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4
I am Ellen Young's mom and just wanted to send you an encouraging word as you walk this journey to peace. I feel sure God will reward you with peace as you seek His guidance. Numbers 6:24-26: "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and Give You Peace." A favorite of mine during my husband's recent illness and death: Isaiah 43:1-3: "But now, this is what the Lord says, He who created you, O Jacob (Stephen); 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I AM THE LORD YOUR GOD, THE HOLY ONE OF ISRAEL, YOUR SAVIOR..." May God bless you and Lisa each day as you travel this road.
ReplyDelete