He Will Deliver

Dropping that letter in the mailbox is a HUGE step. It is not the first letter I have ever sent my mother. Obviously it isn't about the tangible piece of paper. It is all about what that paper represents. That letter represents forgiveness in a very raw form. After years of feeling angry, resentful, hurt, abandoned, lost, and betrayed, I am free. That freedom has also made me feel very exposed. As those feelings of vulnerability begin to rise within me, I keep going back to Proverbs 3:5-6. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." It is true. He has led me to this path and He will continue to lead me. I am experiencing the freedom of forgiveness today because 24 years ago God directly and intentionally intervened in my life. In the midst of evil and destruction, God wrapped His loving arms around me and He did not leave me or forsake me. I had my moments, days, weeks, months, and sometimes years of doubt. I will never understand the choices made by my mother. Why did my she allow me to walk into the house that night? Does she know that I have pictures in my head that can never be erased? I see pictures of my father's car, pictures of walking in the door, pictures of my father taking his last breaths. I still remember what I was thinking as I approached him. I remember his clothes. I remember my mother's reaction. How does a mother do that to her children? I will never have the answers to my endless questions. But as I drop that letter in the mailbox today I know with all my heart that God has been leading me down this path of redemption and He is my Savior.

Tags: Gaile Owens