"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." Eccelesiastes 2:25

How can this verse not be in my heart and mind? The events of the last several months are a display of God's perfect timing in the midst of ongoing change. I am experiencing incredible growth and change in every area of my life and I have no doubt the changes are a direct result of drawing closer to God.

A large part of my life is full of uncertainty right now but God is my strong constant. I don't think I have ever welcomed so much change with arms wide open. This time in my life will always serve as a reminder to avoid the ease of complacency. Now my eyes are wide open.

As I am beginning to recognize how the complicated layers of my past have led me to this time of reconcilication, God is also revealing the layers of change that have occurred in my mother's life. I firmly believe "there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." I will quote the application notes in my bible. "God has a plan for all people. Although we may face many problems that seem to contradict God's plan, these should not be barriers to believing in him, but rather opportunities to discover that, without God, life's problems have no lasting solutions. Timing is important. The secret to peace with God is to discover, accept, and appreciate God's perfect timing."

Gaile Owens

I desperately want to fight for my mother's life. Our relationship is alive and I can only plea to others not to take this away from me now.

I am uncertain of the path that God is leading me on but I can tell you that He is showing up every day and I can see and feel His presence in the people and events unfolding around me. I know the only way I ever would have believed that my mother had changed and reformed her life was to see the evidence face to face. God has revealed this proof and continues to reveal His work to me every time I see her. It is so difficult for me to describe in words. It is real. It is powerful. It is amazing. It is love. It is peace. It is undeniable.

Pray for my mother Gaile Owens

When I stopped writing in September I was not sure I would ever come back to it. I was not planning on ending so abruptly. Only weeks after my visit with Mom, we received a letter stating that the State of Tennessee was preparing to file a request for an execution date to be set. She had reached the end of her appeals process and the State's request was the next step. The State filed in December and her attorneys filed a response earlier this month. She is currently waiting for a response from the Tennessee Supreme Court. If the Supreme Court denies the request to commute her sentence, the decision will be made by Governor Bredesen. That is the very basic explanation of the process.

When we received the letter back in September, it was time for me to make some decisions. Big decisions. Do I continue to walk the journey out loud or do I retreat and seek refuge in my privacy? It is much easier to keep all of this very private and I still feel a certain degree of privacy is vital. But I kept wondering if I was hindering God's plan all in the name of privacy. Was I being disobedient? I felt challenged. It felt like a test of faith. I felt the powerful healing hand of God by forgiving my mother. Now my mother is facing the real possiblity of being executed. Did God really expect me to continue to live out loud and share this with others? Is that really a fair expectation after everything that has happened in my life? But then that other question comes to mind. What if? What if my life story leads just one person to accepting Christ?

And then there is this question. How do I profess my faith in God and speak of His amazing grace and love and do nothing for my mother? Because she committed a horrific crime that resulted in the death of my father? Yes that seems like a solid justification not to help her. No one would ever blame me for refusing to advocate for her. In my mind, it is one thing to offer forgiveness but it is completely different to actively fight for her. So why was I feeling so conflicted? I am not one to act on emotions with an unclear mind. I have struggled. I have prayed. The consequences of my actions could be life-changing. Not everyone will understand my decision. Maybe no one will understand. Others might be angry with me. I could risk losing relationships with family and friends. The struggles continue. I have prayed so hard about this decision. This is life or death.

I have chosen to fight for life and I will leave the consequences to God. I feel in my heart that if I do nothing at all then I am making the statement that I want my mother to die. Lack of action is really an action in itself. It is an action to watch her die. In my life right now, in this situation, lack of action is a lack of faith and trust in God. I do not want my mother to die. My visit with her in August changed my life. I will write more about the details later but again I am asking you to continue to pray.

Pray for my mother, Gaile Owens. Pray for my family. Pray for those responsible for making the decisions. Pray for truth. Pray for justice. Pray for healing.